Yes, Adoption Can Be Scary. No, You Shouldn't Emphasize This To Your Friend

[Lisa Copen]

This article can be reprinted if everything in the article, including the footer, stays exactly "as is" and I'd love to know where it's used so I can say thanks!

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Yes, Adoption Can Be Scary. No, You Shouldn't Emphasize This
by Lisa Copen

It's no secret that adoption can be a scary experience and those who adopt are well aware of those worries and uncertainties. If you know a friend or family member who is adopting, one of the best ways to be a supportive friend is to avoid offering reminders of all of those fears. They already have enough things keeping them up at night.

What are some topics you should avoid asking about? Some examples are:

[1] Are you worried that you won't be able to bond with the baby?

[2] What if your child doesn't look anything like you?

[3] How will you ever be able to afford adoption? Have you thought about just getting a dog?

[4] What if the birth father wants some rights? How much do you really know about him?

[5] What if you pay for all of the birth mom's pregnancy expenses and then she changes her mind and bails on you?

[6] I know when your daughter is a teenager and gets mad at you she will probably want to take off and live with her birth mom. What do you plan to do then?

[7] Aren't you scared that his real mom will change her mind and fight to get him back?

[8] What if your child has some genetic illness and you don't find about it for years?

[9] Do you think you can love her as much as your other kids?

[10] Older children come with a lot more emotional baggage. Have you considered getting a baby so you'd be the mom from day one?

[11] Did you hear about that birthmother that kidnapped her child?

[12] Aren't you worried that he is not really yours until the court date? The birth mom could change her mind any time.

Adoption is full of unknowns, but so is parenting in general. When your friend or family member is adopting, or has just adopted, know that you don't have to ask them these questions in order for them to be aware of the fears that can accompany adoption.

Every family that adopts gets to a point where they must surrender all of their fears and anxieties and focus on the joys that adoption brings. Your support along this journey is more precious than any questions you can ask.

Adoption baby albums make the perfect personalized gift for a family that has adopted. Scrapbook My Adoption uses transparency overlays, digital files or embellishments to make it simple to have a beautiful lifebook your friend will treasure. Find more useful tips for friends of those who are adopting at scrapbookmyado...